Strange flavour to this one...

The poem in this post is one of the earliest poems I've written, that you can categorize under "poems" at all... Hehehe.. I wrote it while sitting in the back of a sanskrit class in my class 12... The poem follows the thought that "a terrorist doesn't necessarily take up terrorism as a career" and is sometimes pushed into it due to various reasons. Since I had just begun to write poems, the flow and the meter of the poem is a bit stiff. Try not to take my case over it. Hehehe...

After all these years though, I have no recollection of why I chose to write a poem about a gun. The AK-47, as we know, was invented in 1947 by a man called Mikhail Kalashnikov, and hence it is sometimes referred to as

THE KALASHNIKOV

Born In The Vale Of Heaven On The Earth
Youngest In My Family, Dearest Since Birth
Born In The Refugee Camp, Hidden Even From The Sun
Unknowingly Hearing The Kalashnikov, The Life-Saving Gun.

I Grew Up Under The Flying Bullets, Zooming Right Above My Head
I Didn’t Know Why It Was Then, But The Ground Was Wet And Red
One Day All My Toys Shattered, And I Was Made To Run
Away From The Kalashnikov, The Life-Threatening Gun.

When I Was Ten, My Father Was Shot Right Before My Eyes
I Saw Death Face-To-Face; I Saw How A Human Dies
And Then I Knew, The Sounds Which I, Till Now Had Thought Were Fun,
Came From The Kalashnikov, The Life-Ending Gun.

At Fourteen, I Saw My Brothers Die, Shot At Just Like Dad
And Then I Saw The Killers, A Sight Which Drove Me Mad
Determined To Take Revenge, All Caution Did I Abandon
And Picked Up The Kalashnikov, My Life-Taking Gun.

Its finally a welcome change to post something that pertains to an emotion other than love, but I dont know if the poem really addresses other emotions in a way which really conveys them. Tell me what you think.

Love-n-Luck,
Av

Third Bottle of Wine..

Like my friends know very well, I am a true Gemini, a man of extremes.. Hence, after that blatant mushiness in the last post, comes another dose of anguish, called..

ALONE

With you i share my joys
And sadness i bear alone
Cause you can’t feel my heart
Beneath my flesh and bone..

You say we have been friends
Right from the start
Then why can’t you feel
The ache inside my heart?

You never tried to explore
The side of me you’ve never seen
You never ever gave a thought
To the friends we could have been..

You never thought about me as
A person on the whole
Then how could you have ever felt
The void inside my soul?

I’ve reached a point in my life
Where i can clearly see
The one thing you could never do
Was to believe in me..

Now i talk to myself
Cause it makes me believe
That i’ve got atleast one friend
Who would never leave..

You left me alone
Every time my heart was blue..

You left me alone
Every time i needed you..

You left me alone
Crying in the rain..

You left me alone
In my hours of pain..

You left me alone..


This is another song that I'd written at a time when I couldn't play it. Not even the verse chords I mean, leave along the heavy power-chords in the chorus. All the same, its a testimonial that music composition and technique with an instrument are more or less independant entities, both ways.

Post your thoughts!

Luv-n-Luck
Av

Second bottle of wine... :D

Here is the next installment of the old wine.. :D
Since the last one was a "break-up-ish" song, I decided to post something a bit mushy this time.. so here goes..

YOU AND YOUR EYES

When i am feeling alone and i can’t find my way,
When i’m feeling like it just isn’t my day,
When the storms in my heart just won’t abate,
When tomorrow seems to come twenty minutes late,

When i’m feeling deserted, i’m feeling left out,
When faith seems to have given way to doubt,
When i’m feeling too down to keep up the pace,
To you and your eyes, i turn for solace.

You bring me joy, and take away my pain
You make me feel complete yet once again.
There’s nothing else that brings me such peace,
As gazing into your eyes, as deep as the seas.

When over the edge of sanity i bend,
My head speaks a language i cant comprehend,
When i can see the sky but can't feel the ground,
When the world seems to spin the other way round,

When everything is wrong and nothing seems right,
When i have half a mind to give up the fight,
When everyone seems like death in disguise,
I turn for comfort to you and your eyes.

You bring me warmth, you keep me alive,
You give me faith to fight and survive,
Gazing into them fills my heart with love,
You eyes, as eternal as the endless skies above…


Like always, I'm eager to hear of the first thoughts that the verses above stir up in your minds..

Luvn-Luck,
Av

Old wine in a new bottle!!!

This time that I'd gone home, my mom put me through the torture of actually digging up and re-arranging my old cupboard... which actually proved to be a blessing in disguise, because I unearthed quite a few of my earthly posessions that I'd forgotten about.. One object among them being an old diary full of completed and incomplete poems. Over the next few days I'll be posting stuff from that diary, which contains quite a few old memories and sentiments. Whats interesting is how I can relate quite a few of them to the now completely changed circumstances of my life...
This is a song I wrote quite a few years ago. Infact even after I had composed it, I still couldnt play it myself on the guitar.. hehe.. so here goes..

HOLLOW

I Was Used To Walking Alone
And I Was Used To Being On My Own
But That Was Before The Day I Met You

I Was Used To Walking In The Rain
And I Was Used To Ignoring The Pain
But That Was Before I Felt Your Love So True

And Now You’ve Gone
And Left Me Where I Began
And I Can’t Live Away From You,

Cause Now I’m Alone
Trying To Do What I Can
To Save My World From Going Blue,

I Try To Break Free,
But I Can Clearly See,
Baby You Took Away My Soul With You...
Baby You Took Away My Soul With You...

I Was Used To Holding Your Hand
And I Thought I Could Understand
Every Little Thing Deep Inside Of You

I’d Seen Loneliness Up Close
Thought I Understood The Way Time Flows
Never Thought I’d Go Back To Being Lonely Too

But Now You’re Gone
And At Crossroads Is Where I Am
Trying To Find A Road To Somewhere New

But How Can I Walk
Even A Step Without Your Hand
When All My Roads Lead To You?

I Try To Break Away
But This Is All I Have To Say
Baby You Took Away My Soul With You…
Baby You Took Away My Soul With You…



In the face of my better abilities on the guitar now, lets see if I can perform this and put up a video or something.. Tell me what you think of it, though.

Luv-n-Luck,
Av

The blog is alive!!!!

I AM BACK!!

After about a bazillion days since I wrote my last post, my meandering mind has generated some stuff with enough words within itself that rhyme amongst themselves, for me to call it a poem!! I’m sure that it will mean very different things to different people.. I’d love to hear about what it means to you.. So get back to me, folks!! Here goes..


ONE

Seek me in the young son clutching his mother’s hand
Seek me in the brave soldier dying for his motherland

Find me in the absolute freedom of an eagle’s flight
Find me in the enslaved fear of a tyrant’s evil might

Seek me in the bejeweled crown on an emperor’s head
Seek me in the torn fabric of a pauper’s makeshift bed

Find me in the momentary gratification of a sexual sin
Find me in the hollow left when something dies within

Seek me in the brutality of a murderer ending a life
Seek me in the benevolent cruelty of a surgeon’s knife

Find me in the stark reality of a dying man’s last sigh
Find me in the common miracle of a newborn’s first cry

Seek me in life and in death and everything in between
Seek me in all that you can see and all that is unseen

Seek me at last within yourself and then shall you see
Find that I am one with you and you are one with me..


This is probably the first poem I’ve written that I’m not entirely sure what it is about. But rather than admitting that I’m too dumb to understand what I write, I’d prefer to say that the poem has “emerged from my subconscious and my conscious is not immediately perceptive to the voice of my sub-conscious!!"
Hehehe… do I sound high-nosed enough??
Also, while composing this one, I have affirmed an interesting comparision I have believed in for quite some time now.Expect to hear about it soon!! But let me know what you think of this one first..

Luv-n-Luck
Av

Love: Deconstructed!

First (and definitely the most), i would like to appreciate the time and effort everyone has put in and posted the comments.. and yes, i have to agree with what Sankalpa said (although i too didnt get in one reading what he meant to say in his post!) I do rather love to hear what thoughts my thoughts provoke into people's brains. People who have no clue of what i'm saying are requested to read the comments.

But i'm posting something that serves to justify Sankalpa's point and illustrate how your thoughts can provoke new thoughts in my brain too! Its a poem i finished today morning. I was thinking along these lines since coupla days, but Sankalpa's descriptions of the "sexy girl" sure took my thoughts in a new direction! I was thinking of making this into a song and had taken up my guitar too, but it seemed the "poem-ish" types! So here it is!

Since it was just a few hours back that i've finished this, i dont have a title for it yet. Suggestions for titles are encouraged in your replies, folks! Even if they are longer than

"Walking on the fine line between love and crushes!"

I cant deny i love her smile
But would that change after a while?
And i long for her every touch
Tomorrow would i feel just as much?

And every time i see her face
It takes me to that special place
But would i stay there all my life?
Would i want her to be my wife?

There is no doubt, i find her cute
But i'm not sure that wont transmute
And she's hot, that i'll concede
But is she all that i'll ever need?

Just thinking of this femme petite
Makes my heart always skip a beat
Would this feeling last all my life?
Would i want her to be my wife?

At the crossroads of love and life
I'm face to face with this odd choice
Yet after all this joy and strife
I just can't seem to find my voice..

How can i say that this emotion
Is nothing else but love for sure
For i am not certain if my notion
Can live up to the word's grandeur..

When i'm not sure of what i feel
A name for it then how do i find?
With matters of heart how do i deal
With arguments born inside my mind?


I guess the poem says it all and so I have nothing more to say about it except that this is one of my EXTREMELY rare, open ended poems, in the sense that I have not drawn it to any conclusions. Tell me what you think of this.

On another note, my fortunate friends who attended the IRON MAIDEN concert have told me that it was fabulous, and BRUCE DICKINSON said that they'l be back soon, and if it gets really awesome, the'd be having an annual EDDFEST in India every year!!!
\m/ hell yeah!!!

Av

Life's measurands..

Coming back to the earlier thread of thought, whats really important in life is perfectly illustrated by this poem, which is one of my favourite short poems..

WHEN first my way to fair I took
Few pence in purse had I;
And long I used to stand and look
At things I could not buy.

Now times are altered: if I care
To buy a thing, I can;
The pence are here and there's the fair,
But where's the lost young man?

To think that two and two are four
And neither five nor three;
The heart of man has long been sore
And long 'tis like to be.

A.E. Housman


reminds me of a hindi couplet..

"chaahe jitne ikatthe kar lo
sona, chandi, heere, moti
yaad rakhna aye yaar mere bas
kafan ko koi jeb nahi hoti.."

The little verse aptly ilustrates the point that materialistic achievements are only short-lived.

Measure your life, with not the number of breaths you take, but with the number of moments that take your breath away!
Measure your life, with not the dreams that you see when you are asleep, but with the number of dreams that don't let you sleep until they are achieved!
Measure your life, with not the number of times you stumbled and fell, but the number of times you got up and fought your way to victory!

Drawing from yesterday's post, when one thinks on these lines:
Is it WRONG to choose any of the three lives?
Or is it wrong to CHOOSE any of the three lives?

Av

WEEKEND getaway!

I forgot to mention that on Sunday, me and 11 other colleagues of mine had gone for a ride to and trek up sinhagadh. As you can see in the pics, we had a helluva fun!!









dont even ask me what i'm doing in the last one!!

Life: deconstructed..

Continuing with my reflections on life..

Like i mentioned in my last blog, Einstein said you can live your life in two ways.. I say you can live it in three..
When all is said and done, you can look back on your life and you realize you have lived either of these three..

1) A life of SURVIVAL
You are born, you live because you are alive, you wander about aimlessly, direction-less.. Like the scent of a flower wafting on the breeze.. Only in this case there is not beauty involved.. You are passive existence personified. There's hardly more to this life than not dying.. And then someday you die..
The general person comes under this one.

2) A life of SUCCESS
You are born, you live because you have a mission. And that mission is to climb as high, walk as far and fast and to be the best that you can possibly be. Every waking moment of your life, you are thinking about your agenda, only your agenda generally contains only one word, "ME". People generally would remember you with anecdotes of success.. (and sometimes bottled feelings of hate and resentment). Personal success is all that there is to this life.. And then someday you die..
Most celebrities and successful industrialists come in this category.

3) A life of SIGNIFICANCE
You are born, and you live because you only feel truly alive when you are helping others lead a better life. You sacrifice personal progress for the cause of a greater common good. Inside your heart and mind, you believe that the progress of people around you is a direct indication of your progress. Your agenda is to make a difference, however small, to the world, so that people remember you with gratitude. You live for the betterment of others and it is through their happiness that you experience contentment and happiness filling your life. And then someday you die..
Men generally accepted to be "great human-beings" fall in this category.

We have all undoubtedly known people from all three categories. Some we feel proud of, some we feel jealous of, and yet others we feel a pity towards. We ourselves seems to live all three ways though out daily lives. And we all know that just trying for one of the three is sometimes not the only way to ensure we can actually live that life.

Which one do you choose?? Do you choose passivity because you have to die someday anyway? Do you choose to make the best of your life just because of the fact that you have so little time here? Or do you rather sacrifice immediate pleasures for a stake at immortality?

or is it that an unknown entity called "fate" decides and its not your choice at all what your life is??

Av

Beyond the materialistic..

"THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE ARE NOT THINGS.."

that is what a t-shirt of one of my most enthusiastic colleagues at the department says. The simple piece of clothing speaks more than a quite a few books on philosophy and life put together.. :D

It reminds us of what is really important in life, and how we give importance to whats really trifle.. Reminds me of one of my favourite quotes by Albert Einstein:

"There are two ways to live your life, one is to live as if nothing is a miracle and the other is to live as if everything is.."

Another little anecdote comes to mind :

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present "Seven Wonders of the World." Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:

1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter's Basilica
7. China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many." The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help".
The girl hesitated, then read: "I think the 'Seven Wonders of the World' are:

1. To See
2. To Hear
3. To Touch
4. To Taste
5. To Feel
6. To Laugh
7. To Love
The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.


The little story aptly illustrates what we forget to remember through our lives.. :D
There is much more to life then not dying, and its emotions and feelings are what keep us separate from the lower life forms. I believe its most vital for us to keep this gap!!
" The most precious things in life don't have price-tags"

Av

The Gods are here!!

D-day Dawns!!
\m/
Iron Maiden, the gods of metal are finally in India and slated to perform at Palace Grounds, B'lore tomorrow.. and from what i hear, they've brought more than just a plane-ful of their gear along! people said that the costs involved were so high, we'd have cactuses in our homes for Christmas trees before Maiden would ever perform in India.. the paramedics are gonna have to come in to get those people's foot out of their mouths now.. cause guess what, IRON MAIDEN ARE HERE and they are gonna BURN THE FRIGGIN' STAGE DOWN tomo night!!

on a slightly more sedate note, there's two things i'm not happy about..

1) Being the good student i am supposed to be, i have to stay back in Pune and give a project presentation that is so vital, I'll fail my post-grad if i don't give it.. other than that there was nothing that could possibly stop from going to B'lore to watch the Gods in flesh!!

2) one of the band from INDIA thats gonna open for Iron Maiden is called FtN. the band is from Delhi and they won the Campus Rock Idols '07. i'd been to the finals, cause they were held at Elysium, Pune and i've listened to them play live. i have to admit they are decently tight (and i've been listening to an mp3 copy of Provoke Me for the last three days continuosly.. hehe). i mean if they won the CRI07 they gotta be good, right? and they are!

but then again.. they are a nu-metal band. oooooohhh! that changes the equation terribly doesnt it? they played KORN and Rage Against The Machine Covers at the CRI..
then again, look at the other opening acts..

a) laureen harris, the daughter of steve harris, the bassist of Maiden ( and i have NO idea what kinda music she's into, but then hey, look at the lineage!)

b) parikrama - no comments, except " is this some kinda joke??"

is an amateur nu-metal college band with just two original compositions, and a rock and roll band, all that India has to offer to the absolute GODS of HEAVY METAL?

ps:
poster of the concert
http://bp1.blogger.com/_eP3Fy6YdM2o/RdjZUwW43oI/AAAAAAAAADI/9VyPaNSN7_g/s1600-h/india_poster.jpg

A journey of a thousand miles.... begins with a deep breath!!

This is the inaugural post of my blog, and what better way to start off other than with a poem i wrote last night at 3 A.M... here goes..


Kaleidoscope of Pain

I look through my inward eye again
To explore deep within me;
Peer through the kaleidoscope of pain
And decipher what i see..

With every nudge that life does give
The colours rearrange;
The emotions and thoughts i feel and live
Take forms new and strange..

Sometimes i feel that pain and pleasure
Are illusions, and no more;
That guard the elusive priceless treasure
Locked behind perception's door..

Pain proves itself a beautiful thing
That reveals a new paradigm;
The notes of sadness frequently ring
Across the melody of time..

Pleasure, although feels good to feel
Is poison to the mind;
Shrouding our eyes from what is real
Till perception goes blind..

Its sadness that lends us its wings
To rise above the mundane;
To us what glimpses of truth brings
Is the kaleidoscope of pain..

Yet withing this constant change somewhere
Myself i try to find;
I essay to seek the truth, and dare
To break the bonds that bind..

My inwards quest for truth shall sustain
Till i can open my eyes;
And not need any kaleidoscope to gain
My first glimpses of Paradise..

Av