ITS TIME..

I woke up today morning inexplicably humming a little something that I'd composed years before, and it took my mind back to the that time, which was a very uphill, learning period in my life. It also made me ponder upon the importance of keeping your core, your integrity, your hope and your belief in yourself intact in tough times, because that is the only thing that will see you through.

I wish I could make it sound "celeb" by saying something like Lars Ulrich says ("That was a time in our lives when me and James used to be very obsessed with death") about the song Fade to Black, on the Metallica documentary. However the real deal is that I was not obsessed with death when I composed this, I was just terribly low because I was going through a period of growth and learning the hard way. Having said that, I also must say that while the composition talks about death, the song is about hope, and not despair. I had originally used the word "die", but it sounded too negative and absolute. So I substituted it with "fly" to give it a sense of possibility, hope, freedom and eagerness towards what is to come. Here goes..

ITS TIME

Its that time of my life,
When my eyelids feel heavy.
Heavy, with the weight of life,
Heavy, to the pull of death..

It’s time for me to fly…

Its that time of my life,
When my life’s time is shrinking.
Shrinking, to the point of no return,
Not that I really want to return..

It’s time for me to fly…

Its that time of my life,
When my soul is ready to embark,
Embark, upon a new journey,
A journey to eternity,
A journey to immortality..

It’s time for me to fly…

Its that time of my life,
When I can hear the humming
Of the wing of death
The wing of death, as it comes to me,
Comes to take me along,
Comes to take me away..

It’s time for me to fly…

Its that time of my life,
When i can feel myself submerging
Into a cocoon of darkness
The darkness of the brightest eternal light,
The light emanating from my creator..

It’s time for me to fly…

Its that time of my life,
When i feel weary,
Weary, of dying a thousand deaths
A thousand deaths, in every breath,
Every fleeting breath of life..

It’s time for me to fly…

It’s time for me to fly to my maker,
It’s time for me to take refuge in his arms,
It’s time for me to merge with the one,
It’s time for me to join the company
Of the lost souls of the netherworld..

It’s time for me to live...


This is the only song that I have written till date that does not rhyme, but the repetition of the words within the verse creates an internal sense of rhythm and combined with the single line refrain, it opens up extremely interesting musical composition possibilities.
The composition is loosely about Life after Death, but some of my closest friends who have read it before have come up with very interesting perceptions of individual lines, right from carnal to spiritual. I would like to hear of more from everyone who is reading this. Please write back to me.

Luv-n-Luck,
Av

Birthday Cakes!

My birthday this year was very special. It wasn't meant to be. Infact I had no real celebration, no huge birthday-bash. It was pretty low-key. But then again, that was just my plan.

My friends had not intentions of it being low key. So it happens that my birthday has stretched over 5 days, in which I have cut 4 cakes, have been given birthday bumps 2 times and have had my face covered with cake thrice! So for the next coupla posts, i am gonna post a few pictures of all these happenings. The first one is

THE CAKES!!










I want to express a very big thank you to all the people who have made the occasion very special by wishing me in person, over telephone, email, sms, telegraph, morse-code whatnot! I want everyone to know that I take your love and best wishes straight to my heart.
Each and every one of you is very special to me, in your own unique way.

For all the idiots who forgot my birthday, I still love you guys, but I shall not hesitate to kick you next time we meet!
:D

Luv-n-Luck,
Av

A post long due..

Many moons (and posts) ago, I said the following;

"While composing this poem, I have affirmed an interesting comparison I have believed in for quite some time now. Expect to hear about it soon!!"

And finally, after a bazillion posts, today happens to be the "soon"!

So here goes..

Composing poetry (or music), as I've long felt, is very much like delivering a baby, and here are Av’s TOP TEN REASONS why!

1) You can plan for it all that you want, but a poem will always take shape at the most unplanned moment.

2) It is really hard to make one, when you really feel like having one. On the other hand, if you take your mind off the task and relax, it is much easier to conceive. An idea, that is!

3) Sometimes after you have composed a poem, you are not really sure who or what caused it in the first place.

4) Sometimes you do not want to, or can not afford to write the poem at that point in your life, and you have no choice but to abort the budding inspiration inside you.

5) An idea/inspiration has to linger around in your head for a certain period of time before it is ready to become a poem and during this period some ideas will die prematurely before they are ready to take form.

6) Sometimes if a poem emerges before the idea is fully formed, it will not survive. (Read as, Av crumbling up the paper and throwing it into the wastepaper basket.)

7) After an idea is done with its gestation period inside your head, it will start struggling to come out, and you have no choice but to let it.

8) It is always easier to compose a poem if you are in a comfortable position and place.

9) It hurts like hell to do it, but it’s the most beautiful experience, and you couldn’t be any happier after it is done.

10) Years later, when the same words/melodies lend themselves to varied meanings, you look back at them and wonder, “Did I really create that??”

How is that for a creative analogy!!! However, poets are not given half the credit that mothers are! So here is a poem I composed a couple of years back, to highlight the brave deed that composition is!

POETRY CAN BE DANGEROUS!

To all my friends and even my foes
I have a word of advice,
If you are thinking of composing poems
Make sure you think twice!

Writing poems is something nice
Or that is what everyone thinks,
But very few actually do notice
The problems that it brings!

The gift of putting words in rhyme
And rhythm is considered rare,
But no one thinks of all the trouble
The poet has to bear!

For one, when you feel poetic
Nothing else can you contemplate,
Everything else except your poem
You have to procrastinate!

It’s always at an awkward time
When by this impulse you are hit,
You drop your work and start composing
Under a violent poetical fit!

You compose lines upon lines of verse
And see your poem through,
But if insatiated, you still compose
Yet another poem or two!

May god forbid, but if it so happens
That your poem remains uncomposed,
The inspiring idea will hammer your brain
Till you start to feel quite dozed!

And if your poem remains halfway
Then the situation is even worse,
The half-ghost of the half-poem continues
To haunt your every new verse!

So make sure to think twice about
Becoming a poet before its too late,
I just decided to write in verse once
And to this day I can’t talk straight!!

Hahahaha! Like always, I'm eager to hear some feedback from all you folks, and as I suspect, quite a few of you will be taking the list further too! What the heck, I might do it in one of the posts myself. Get me started!!

Luv-n-Luck,

Av

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

Thats it!!

Inspiration!!

A lot of my friends who recently discovered my blog have asked me what the title of my blog means. I thought the explanation below the title would be sufficient, but it apparently is not, so here goes..

My blog is an effort to keep aside my geeky self and dig deeper. It is an excuse to dwell upon things sometimes mundane, mostly abstract, and decidedly always beyond definition by formulae. Hence, my process of posting a blog is a quite an interesting one. It is a process of passive response. I never pro-actively try to come up with stuff to post, because doing that involves too much of the brain and not enough of the mind!

Generally it is something I read, something I listen to, or an unexpected conversation that triggers my thoughts. However, nothing of the sort has happened since quite a few days. Well over a month infact, to be precise. Meanwhile quite a few of my friends had been kind enough to send me multiple reminders that I hadn't posted since quite a while, and a new post was due, but I told them off saying that I didn't have anything to post about. For quite a while now, I've been waiting for some sudden inspiration to burst upon me, so that I would post something on the blog. Sure, there were a few stray thoughts and ideas, but they are yet to materialize into blog-worthy stuff. Then this morning, I just looked at my outdated blog-page and an interesting thought struck me.

It was all wrong!! When has looking for inspiration OUTSIDE of yourself ever been the right thing to do??? The truth suddenly dawned on me as i remembered a few lines from the book I was reading this morning :
"No matter who patted you on the backside when you came struggling into human life, you took your first breath alone. When you take your last breath in earthly matters, you shall take it alone. How then is it, that somewhere in between, in that time we call LIFE, we expect someone else to do our breathing for us? No-one else can ever live a single moment of our lives for us. That we must do ourselves. That is responsibility."

So hereby declared, that I, Av, assume responsibility of pushing my mind to creative output, without the necessity of any external stimulation! Speaking of which, here's a poem that I JUST composed! Right after typing that last line!

ITS ALL MINE

Its all mine, my every breath
That I shall breathe, from life till death;

Its all mine, my entire life
That I must live, through joy and strife;

Its all mine, this moment here
When I must learn to face my fear;

Its all mine, this mine of gold
This is my life that I must mould;

I am the foe that I must face,
I am the friend I must embrace;
I am the change that I must make,
I am the shackle that I must break;

I am the truth I must believe,
I am the victory I must achieve;
I am the record I must set straight,
I am the success that I must create!!


How's that for no-pressure, no frills, spur-of-the-moment creativity!! I'll close the post with another awesome quote that I read somewhere, which is so relevant to what has just happened;

“Life, like a mirror, never gives back more than we put into it.”

Luv-n-Luck,
Av