POPS !

Learn to live in the moment, they say. Without being weighed down by your past, or being pulled too fast by your future. Every once in a while, I have a moment in my life, which seems to have more life in the moment than usual. While the feelings possibly experienced in such moments encompass the full spectrum of human emotions, I believe what is common is that they irreversibly change the way you look at something. Such moments tend to stick out in your memory like bookmarks in your life. I call such moments Points Of Paradigm Shift, or POPS. Quite the appropriate onomatopoeia, eh?

So this is a song about a moment in time, when on a relatively secluded beach in Konkan, albeit in unthoughtful jest, I was down on one knee, holding a fused light-bulb and looking into eyes that were suddenly filled with a haunting blend of unexpected emotions.

LIGHT OF MY LIFE

I've never been the kind
Who go around searching for love
I've never believed love's blind
Or that happiness comes from above..

I've never believed in fate
Or that destiny is real
And all this talk of a soul-mate
Has always felt so surreal..

All my life, I've lived an illusion
And never dared to face my fears..
But I've broken free of this delusion
In this moment with you, right here...

Now I'm on my knees
And I can suddenly see things right
I'm begging baby, please
Say, you'll be the light... of my life...

Much as I would love to, I can't really elucidate upon 'see things right'. Not as a matter of intent, but as a matter of ability. Someday, I hope to be able to write in words expressive enough to really encompass the beauty of the moment and the depth of the realizations within it. Maybe then, I could call it an apology. From naiveté to hurt feelings.

Luv-n-Luck,
Av

A curious co-incidence..

Today is the would-have-been 2nd anniversary of me taking up a job in the alternately flourishing and floundering IT industry. While I am extremely happy to be not in a mundane developer job anymore, I was surely contemplating posting something about it.

A few minutes back I opened my old acoustic guitar cover, and it has yielded a poem I had written way back in early 2005, when I was saying my good-byes to my graduate college. Corny and clumsy as it is, I wanted to share it because it brought a flood of memories back to me.

The poem is in keeping with the theme of a farewell, and while it was untitled back then, I've thought of christening it as

NOT A FAREWELL

When tomorrow starts without me
I'll not be there to see
If the rising sun would find your eyes
All filled with tears for me..

I wish so much that you wouldnt cry
The way you did today
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say..

I know how much you love me
As much or more than I love you
And each time that I think of you
I know you'll miss me too..

So when tomorrow starts without me
Don't think that we're far apart
For every time you think of me
I'll be right here, in your heart...

Ta-daa! Its ok, don't take my case over it. :)

Luv-n-Luck,

Av

Ascension

The above image is courtesy Jason Evans from The Clarity of Night. He held a story writing competition, with stories inspired by the photograph above. The challenging part was, the story had to be limited to 250 words. I came to know of the contest with only a couple of days left for submission. I could not come up with anything within that time-frame, largely, I suspect, due to the self-limiting belief that I haven't done any story-writing before. So I ardently, if passively, followed the contest and I must say, it was an absolute pleasure.

Weeks later, after the winners have been chosen and applauded, my meandering mind has finally generated something, so here is my take. The first story I've ever written. Try not to be brutal with your comments. Here goes :

The Irony of FILE

"Wherever and whenever we are together, always hold me to your left" she said. “So I wouldn’t interfere with the purpose of your life.”
Did she know that she was contradicting herself? I wouldn't ever know.
But I still sleep on the right side of the bed, alone, smiling at the irony.

We bought exactly identical denims on our shared 18th birthday, to mark our metamorphosis from boys to men.

“18 till we die” we decided. Did we really comprehend those words? I'm not sure.
But I still wear those denims on the day only I grow older every year, alone, smiling at the irony.

One of my earliest memories is one of him sitting pillion on my tricycle, facing backwards.
One day, years later, he introduced me to her, bringing her to me on his bike, seated backwards, so that I could not identify my promised "hot date" from afar and backtrack with nervousness.

They both used to say that too often in life we miss what we have and will have, because we are too busy looking at what we have left behind. And then we used to laugh at the irony. They were both veterans at dyslexia. But was their’s the only kind?

Some people fear the slits at the bottom and the top of the elevator. I fear the invisible crack that runs down the middle, causing the two sides to ascend at different speeds.
I still ride the elevator backwards, alone, smiling at the irony.

Av

P.S. - Just for the record, its EXACTLY 250 words. :D

When Love kills Love

Since today morning, I have been listening to a single song on infinite loop so I thought that I would share it with everyone. The song is called When Love Kills Love and its by the band Scorpions. Scorpions has always been one of my favourite bands for their uncanny ability to strike an amazing balance between intensity and sensitivity. Then, a few weeks ago, I bought a DVD of their concert Acoustica and life hasn't been the same ever since. The concert was performed inside a monastery called Convento do Beato in Lisbon, Portugal. The DVD was shot using 12 cameras and needless to say, is breathtaking. The ensemble included a piano, a cello and an extra percussion section other than the regular band members. They performed a nice mix of their all time hits, a few new songs and even a couple of covers, totalling up to 21 songs. The most amazing part is that the music arrangements for all the songs were completely re-done for the acoustic instruments setup. Absolutely a must-check-out piece of rock music history!

The lyrics for the song are also superbly written. Listen closely!
Here's the song:


This is probably the first and only acoustic song yet to which I have head-banged like I did today morning. I just couldn't resist its groovy feel. Also, I thought that it would make an interesting follow-up to the last post, giving the Hedgehog's Dilemma a new, intriguing twist!
In closing, here are my instantaneous thoughts on the topic:

When love kills love
Its just love gone blind
For true love never dies
Lingers on in heart & mind

When love kills love
Its no more than suicide
I thought I had you killed
But it was me who died..

Luv-n-luck,
Av

Stand in my Shadow

Stand here in my shadow,
Stay safe under my wing,
Fear not the many struggles
That tomorrow shall bring;

Take some time to introspect
Just a moment's silent repose,
Learn to smile under the rain,
If you aspire for the rainbows;

Take life along where you go
Be dragged not in life's wake,
All that your life will ever be
Is what you decided to make;

Leave behind all your regrets
Break free of your every guilt,
Brick by brick, hope by hope
Is how your life shall be built;

Live each moment to its fullest
Heed the old words of the wise,
Whether you be tiny or be huge
Remember to live life king-size!

Av

Blogging on the "FLY"!!

For a few days, I was thinking about what would be a good follow up to the last post. Then it struck me that yet another one of my compositions is in a similar vein to the last one, in terms of the hope, possibility and anticipation. Also the theme of this one is also loosely based on the idea of rising to the next level. What is interesting is that this composition also plays upon Death and Life using the word "fly". However, in juxtaposition to the last post, the word "fly" denotes going away from Death, and not closer to it. These two compositions were written by me as an exercise in twisting ideas and words around to suit one's intentions. (Its not actually as evil as it sounds.. Hehe..)

The real story behind the curtain is that ever since the first time I read William Wordsworth's and Robert Herrick's contrasting poems on daffodils in fifth grade, I always wanted to compose about something from two points of view. With these two compositions, I have not exactly done that, in the sense that both the compositions are in a optimistic vein. However I have endeavoured to treat a single word in two exactly opposite contexts. While the last song dwells on the absolute, unchanging finality, this one talks about

WINDS OF CHANGE

You've lived this life
One moment too long,
Just leave it behind
With me come along,

You're trapped in your world
You're trapped in your mind
Its time you wake up and
Leave this illusion behind.. (1)

Take off your masks
Shed off your skins,
Get out of these
Cities of ruins,

Lets sail to those lands
far beyond the sea
And when we reach there
You'll be glad you came with me.. (2)

Fly with me my friends,
Fly with me tonight..
Fly high my brothers,
Fly by my side..

Lets fly..
To where the children of tomorrow spread their wings,
Lets fly..
To where every moment new joys brings,
Lets fly..
To the world which yet seems out of our range,
Lets fly..
Gliding along the winds of change..

Now its time, to move ahead,
Now its time, to leave the pain,
Now its time, to come back from the dead,
Now its time, to live again...

Just as a sidenote, this was the song that I'd sung for my first-ever public performance with the guitar, and that after about 5 years, I sung it again for my guitar students last sunday. :D

Luv-n-Luck,
Av

ITS TIME..

I woke up today morning inexplicably humming a little something that I'd composed years before, and it took my mind back to the that time, which was a very uphill, learning period in my life. It also made me ponder upon the importance of keeping your core, your integrity, your hope and your belief in yourself intact in tough times, because that is the only thing that will see you through.

I wish I could make it sound "celeb" by saying something like Lars Ulrich says ("That was a time in our lives when me and James used to be very obsessed with death") about the song Fade to Black, on the Metallica documentary. However the real deal is that I was not obsessed with death when I composed this, I was just terribly low because I was going through a period of growth and learning the hard way. Having said that, I also must say that while the composition talks about death, the song is about hope, and not despair. I had originally used the word "die", but it sounded too negative and absolute. So I substituted it with "fly" to give it a sense of possibility, hope, freedom and eagerness towards what is to come. Here goes..

ITS TIME

Its that time of my life,
When my eyelids feel heavy.
Heavy, with the weight of life,
Heavy, to the pull of death..

It’s time for me to fly…

Its that time of my life,
When my life’s time is shrinking.
Shrinking, to the point of no return,
Not that I really want to return..

It’s time for me to fly…

Its that time of my life,
When my soul is ready to embark,
Embark, upon a new journey,
A journey to eternity,
A journey to immortality..

It’s time for me to fly…

Its that time of my life,
When I can hear the humming
Of the wing of death
The wing of death, as it comes to me,
Comes to take me along,
Comes to take me away..

It’s time for me to fly…

Its that time of my life,
When i can feel myself submerging
Into a cocoon of darkness
The darkness of the brightest eternal light,
The light emanating from my creator..

It’s time for me to fly…

Its that time of my life,
When i feel weary,
Weary, of dying a thousand deaths
A thousand deaths, in every breath,
Every fleeting breath of life..

It’s time for me to fly…

It’s time for me to fly to my maker,
It’s time for me to take refuge in his arms,
It’s time for me to merge with the one,
It’s time for me to join the company
Of the lost souls of the netherworld..

It’s time for me to live...


This is the only song that I have written till date that does not rhyme, but the repetition of the words within the verse creates an internal sense of rhythm and combined with the single line refrain, it opens up extremely interesting musical composition possibilities.
The composition is loosely about Life after Death, but some of my closest friends who have read it before have come up with very interesting perceptions of individual lines, right from carnal to spiritual. I would like to hear of more from everyone who is reading this. Please write back to me.

Luv-n-Luck,
Av

A post long due..

Many moons (and posts) ago, I said the following;

"While composing this poem, I have affirmed an interesting comparison I have believed in for quite some time now. Expect to hear about it soon!!"

And finally, after a bazillion posts, today happens to be the "soon"!

So here goes..

Composing poetry (or music), as I've long felt, is very much like delivering a baby, and here are Av’s TOP TEN REASONS why!

1) You can plan for it all that you want, but a poem will always take shape at the most unplanned moment.

2) It is really hard to make one, when you really feel like having one. On the other hand, if you take your mind off the task and relax, it is much easier to conceive. An idea, that is!

3) Sometimes after you have composed a poem, you are not really sure who or what caused it in the first place.

4) Sometimes you do not want to, or can not afford to write the poem at that point in your life, and you have no choice but to abort the budding inspiration inside you.

5) An idea/inspiration has to linger around in your head for a certain period of time before it is ready to become a poem and during this period some ideas will die prematurely before they are ready to take form.

6) Sometimes if a poem emerges before the idea is fully formed, it will not survive. (Read as, Av crumbling up the paper and throwing it into the wastepaper basket.)

7) After an idea is done with its gestation period inside your head, it will start struggling to come out, and you have no choice but to let it.

8) It is always easier to compose a poem if you are in a comfortable position and place.

9) It hurts like hell to do it, but it’s the most beautiful experience, and you couldn’t be any happier after it is done.

10) Years later, when the same words/melodies lend themselves to varied meanings, you look back at them and wonder, “Did I really create that??”

How is that for a creative analogy!!! However, poets are not given half the credit that mothers are! So here is a poem I composed a couple of years back, to highlight the brave deed that composition is!

POETRY CAN BE DANGEROUS!

To all my friends and even my foes
I have a word of advice,
If you are thinking of composing poems
Make sure you think twice!

Writing poems is something nice
Or that is what everyone thinks,
But very few actually do notice
The problems that it brings!

The gift of putting words in rhyme
And rhythm is considered rare,
But no one thinks of all the trouble
The poet has to bear!

For one, when you feel poetic
Nothing else can you contemplate,
Everything else except your poem
You have to procrastinate!

It’s always at an awkward time
When by this impulse you are hit,
You drop your work and start composing
Under a violent poetical fit!

You compose lines upon lines of verse
And see your poem through,
But if insatiated, you still compose
Yet another poem or two!

May god forbid, but if it so happens
That your poem remains uncomposed,
The inspiring idea will hammer your brain
Till you start to feel quite dozed!

And if your poem remains halfway
Then the situation is even worse,
The half-ghost of the half-poem continues
To haunt your every new verse!

So make sure to think twice about
Becoming a poet before its too late,
I just decided to write in verse once
And to this day I can’t talk straight!!

Hahahaha! Like always, I'm eager to hear some feedback from all you folks, and as I suspect, quite a few of you will be taking the list further too! What the heck, I might do it in one of the posts myself. Get me started!!

Luv-n-Luck,

Av

Inspiration!!

A lot of my friends who recently discovered my blog have asked me what the title of my blog means. I thought the explanation below the title would be sufficient, but it apparently is not, so here goes..

My blog is an effort to keep aside my geeky self and dig deeper. It is an excuse to dwell upon things sometimes mundane, mostly abstract, and decidedly always beyond definition by formulae. Hence, my process of posting a blog is a quite an interesting one. It is a process of passive response. I never pro-actively try to come up with stuff to post, because doing that involves too much of the brain and not enough of the mind!

Generally it is something I read, something I listen to, or an unexpected conversation that triggers my thoughts. However, nothing of the sort has happened since quite a few days. Well over a month infact, to be precise. Meanwhile quite a few of my friends had been kind enough to send me multiple reminders that I hadn't posted since quite a while, and a new post was due, but I told them off saying that I didn't have anything to post about. For quite a while now, I've been waiting for some sudden inspiration to burst upon me, so that I would post something on the blog. Sure, there were a few stray thoughts and ideas, but they are yet to materialize into blog-worthy stuff. Then this morning, I just looked at my outdated blog-page and an interesting thought struck me.

It was all wrong!! When has looking for inspiration OUTSIDE of yourself ever been the right thing to do??? The truth suddenly dawned on me as i remembered a few lines from the book I was reading this morning :
"No matter who patted you on the backside when you came struggling into human life, you took your first breath alone. When you take your last breath in earthly matters, you shall take it alone. How then is it, that somewhere in between, in that time we call LIFE, we expect someone else to do our breathing for us? No-one else can ever live a single moment of our lives for us. That we must do ourselves. That is responsibility."

So hereby declared, that I, Av, assume responsibility of pushing my mind to creative output, without the necessity of any external stimulation! Speaking of which, here's a poem that I JUST composed! Right after typing that last line!

ITS ALL MINE

Its all mine, my every breath
That I shall breathe, from life till death;

Its all mine, my entire life
That I must live, through joy and strife;

Its all mine, this moment here
When I must learn to face my fear;

Its all mine, this mine of gold
This is my life that I must mould;

I am the foe that I must face,
I am the friend I must embrace;
I am the change that I must make,
I am the shackle that I must break;

I am the truth I must believe,
I am the victory I must achieve;
I am the record I must set straight,
I am the success that I must create!!


How's that for no-pressure, no frills, spur-of-the-moment creativity!! I'll close the post with another awesome quote that I read somewhere, which is so relevant to what has just happened;

“Life, like a mirror, never gives back more than we put into it.”

Luv-n-Luck,
Av

CRUSH.. Part II

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!

After I went home last night, my thoughts were more or less fixated on
it being the Valentine Day's eve and I was thinking of all the Valentine Days
in the years gone by. Also (probably because I love to dwell on the "irony" aspect of things in general these days),I was thinking of how my ranting and raving in the last post has probably left me looking like a completely hopeless UN-romantic.
In the time-honored tradition of true-blue Geminis, I hate to be categorized into so extreme a sect, so just to mix up things a bit, and because today's the day of love,I decided to post a mushy little poem/song that I had composed a few years back. Although I'm sure she'll not read this, but if she does, a certain female friend of mine would smile to reminisce of a particular Valentine's Day, the singular high-point of which was she screaming
"I love you, Av!!", in public, at the top of her lungs, because she thought I'd written it for her.
(Which I'd not, just to set the record straight!)
Life's crazy sometimes.. But anyway, here goes!


Tonight

Tonight as I watch
The lights across the skies,
Feels like I'm gazing
Deep into your eyes..

Reminds me of the days
When my life was just as bright,
As my heart burning for you, tonight..

Tonight as i walk
Down the streets of my heart,
Feels like the place
Is falling apart..

It's paining since the day you went
And it puts me in a plight,
To feel my heart aching for you, tonight..

Tonight as i dream
Of you in my sleep
I know you will return
You have promises to keep

I'll take you in my arms
And hold you close and tight
As both our hearts melt into one, tonight..



Damn!! I wish I hadn't posted this. I could have actually used it with some good effect today!! Hehe..
But after all is said and done, more is actually said than done!! So I guess posting this has been a good choice after all.. :D

Luv-n-Luck,
Av

Strange flavour to this one...

The poem in this post is one of the earliest poems I've written, that you can categorize under "poems" at all... Hehehe.. I wrote it while sitting in the back of a sanskrit class in my class 12... The poem follows the thought that "a terrorist doesn't necessarily take up terrorism as a career" and is sometimes pushed into it due to various reasons. Since I had just begun to write poems, the flow and the meter of the poem is a bit stiff. Try not to take my case over it. Hehehe...

After all these years though, I have no recollection of why I chose to write a poem about a gun. The AK-47, as we know, was invented in 1947 by a man called Mikhail Kalashnikov, and hence it is sometimes referred to as

THE KALASHNIKOV

Born In The Vale Of Heaven On The Earth
Youngest In My Family, Dearest Since Birth
Born In The Refugee Camp, Hidden Even From The Sun
Unknowingly Hearing The Kalashnikov, The Life-Saving Gun.

I Grew Up Under The Flying Bullets, Zooming Right Above My Head
I Didn’t Know Why It Was Then, But The Ground Was Wet And Red
One Day All My Toys Shattered, And I Was Made To Run
Away From The Kalashnikov, The Life-Threatening Gun.

When I Was Ten, My Father Was Shot Right Before My Eyes
I Saw Death Face-To-Face; I Saw How A Human Dies
And Then I Knew, The Sounds Which I, Till Now Had Thought Were Fun,
Came From The Kalashnikov, The Life-Ending Gun.

At Fourteen, I Saw My Brothers Die, Shot At Just Like Dad
And Then I Saw The Killers, A Sight Which Drove Me Mad
Determined To Take Revenge, All Caution Did I Abandon
And Picked Up The Kalashnikov, My Life-Taking Gun.

Its finally a welcome change to post something that pertains to an emotion other than love, but I dont know if the poem really addresses other emotions in a way which really conveys them. Tell me what you think.

Love-n-Luck,
Av

Third Bottle of Wine..

Like my friends know very well, I am a true Gemini, a man of extremes.. Hence, after that blatant mushiness in the last post, comes another dose of anguish, called..

ALONE

With you i share my joys
And sadness i bear alone
Cause you can’t feel my heart
Beneath my flesh and bone..

You say we have been friends
Right from the start
Then why can’t you feel
The ache inside my heart?

You never tried to explore
The side of me you’ve never seen
You never ever gave a thought
To the friends we could have been..

You never thought about me as
A person on the whole
Then how could you have ever felt
The void inside my soul?

I’ve reached a point in my life
Where i can clearly see
The one thing you could never do
Was to believe in me..

Now i talk to myself
Cause it makes me believe
That i’ve got atleast one friend
Who would never leave..

You left me alone
Every time my heart was blue..

You left me alone
Every time i needed you..

You left me alone
Crying in the rain..

You left me alone
In my hours of pain..

You left me alone..


This is another song that I'd written at a time when I couldn't play it. Not even the verse chords I mean, leave along the heavy power-chords in the chorus. All the same, its a testimonial that music composition and technique with an instrument are more or less independant entities, both ways.

Post your thoughts!

Luv-n-Luck
Av

Second bottle of wine... :D

Here is the next installment of the old wine.. :D
Since the last one was a "break-up-ish" song, I decided to post something a bit mushy this time.. so here goes..

YOU AND YOUR EYES

When i am feeling alone and i can’t find my way,
When i’m feeling like it just isn’t my day,
When the storms in my heart just won’t abate,
When tomorrow seems to come twenty minutes late,

When i’m feeling deserted, i’m feeling left out,
When faith seems to have given way to doubt,
When i’m feeling too down to keep up the pace,
To you and your eyes, i turn for solace.

You bring me joy, and take away my pain
You make me feel complete yet once again.
There’s nothing else that brings me such peace,
As gazing into your eyes, as deep as the seas.

When over the edge of sanity i bend,
My head speaks a language i cant comprehend,
When i can see the sky but can't feel the ground,
When the world seems to spin the other way round,

When everything is wrong and nothing seems right,
When i have half a mind to give up the fight,
When everyone seems like death in disguise,
I turn for comfort to you and your eyes.

You bring me warmth, you keep me alive,
You give me faith to fight and survive,
Gazing into them fills my heart with love,
You eyes, as eternal as the endless skies above…


Like always, I'm eager to hear of the first thoughts that the verses above stir up in your minds..

Luvn-Luck,
Av

Old wine in a new bottle!!!

This time that I'd gone home, my mom put me through the torture of actually digging up and re-arranging my old cupboard... which actually proved to be a blessing in disguise, because I unearthed quite a few of my earthly posessions that I'd forgotten about.. One object among them being an old diary full of completed and incomplete poems. Over the next few days I'll be posting stuff from that diary, which contains quite a few old memories and sentiments. Whats interesting is how I can relate quite a few of them to the now completely changed circumstances of my life...
This is a song I wrote quite a few years ago. Infact even after I had composed it, I still couldnt play it myself on the guitar.. hehe.. so here goes..

HOLLOW

I Was Used To Walking Alone
And I Was Used To Being On My Own
But That Was Before The Day I Met You

I Was Used To Walking In The Rain
And I Was Used To Ignoring The Pain
But That Was Before I Felt Your Love So True

And Now You’ve Gone
And Left Me Where I Began
And I Can’t Live Away From You,

Cause Now I’m Alone
Trying To Do What I Can
To Save My World From Going Blue,

I Try To Break Free,
But I Can Clearly See,
Baby You Took Away My Soul With You...
Baby You Took Away My Soul With You...

I Was Used To Holding Your Hand
And I Thought I Could Understand
Every Little Thing Deep Inside Of You

I’d Seen Loneliness Up Close
Thought I Understood The Way Time Flows
Never Thought I’d Go Back To Being Lonely Too

But Now You’re Gone
And At Crossroads Is Where I Am
Trying To Find A Road To Somewhere New

But How Can I Walk
Even A Step Without Your Hand
When All My Roads Lead To You?

I Try To Break Away
But This Is All I Have To Say
Baby You Took Away My Soul With You…
Baby You Took Away My Soul With You…



In the face of my better abilities on the guitar now, lets see if I can perform this and put up a video or something.. Tell me what you think of it, though.

Luv-n-Luck,
Av

The blog is alive!!!!

I AM BACK!!

After about a bazillion days since I wrote my last post, my meandering mind has generated some stuff with enough words within itself that rhyme amongst themselves, for me to call it a poem!! I’m sure that it will mean very different things to different people.. I’d love to hear about what it means to you.. So get back to me, folks!! Here goes..


ONE

Seek me in the young son clutching his mother’s hand
Seek me in the brave soldier dying for his motherland

Find me in the absolute freedom of an eagle’s flight
Find me in the enslaved fear of a tyrant’s evil might

Seek me in the bejeweled crown on an emperor’s head
Seek me in the torn fabric of a pauper’s makeshift bed

Find me in the momentary gratification of a sexual sin
Find me in the hollow left when something dies within

Seek me in the brutality of a murderer ending a life
Seek me in the benevolent cruelty of a surgeon’s knife

Find me in the stark reality of a dying man’s last sigh
Find me in the common miracle of a newborn’s first cry

Seek me in life and in death and everything in between
Seek me in all that you can see and all that is unseen

Seek me at last within yourself and then shall you see
Find that I am one with you and you are one with me..


This is probably the first poem I’ve written that I’m not entirely sure what it is about. But rather than admitting that I’m too dumb to understand what I write, I’d prefer to say that the poem has “emerged from my subconscious and my conscious is not immediately perceptive to the voice of my sub-conscious!!"
Hehehe… do I sound high-nosed enough??
Also, while composing this one, I have affirmed an interesting comparision I have believed in for quite some time now.Expect to hear about it soon!! But let me know what you think of this one first..

Luv-n-Luck
Av

Love: Deconstructed!

First (and definitely the most), i would like to appreciate the time and effort everyone has put in and posted the comments.. and yes, i have to agree with what Sankalpa said (although i too didnt get in one reading what he meant to say in his post!) I do rather love to hear what thoughts my thoughts provoke into people's brains. People who have no clue of what i'm saying are requested to read the comments.

But i'm posting something that serves to justify Sankalpa's point and illustrate how your thoughts can provoke new thoughts in my brain too! Its a poem i finished today morning. I was thinking along these lines since coupla days, but Sankalpa's descriptions of the "sexy girl" sure took my thoughts in a new direction! I was thinking of making this into a song and had taken up my guitar too, but it seemed the "poem-ish" types! So here it is!

Since it was just a few hours back that i've finished this, i dont have a title for it yet. Suggestions for titles are encouraged in your replies, folks! Even if they are longer than

"Walking on the fine line between love and crushes!"

I cant deny i love her smile
But would that change after a while?
And i long for her every touch
Tomorrow would i feel just as much?

And every time i see her face
It takes me to that special place
But would i stay there all my life?
Would i want her to be my wife?

There is no doubt, i find her cute
But i'm not sure that wont transmute
And she's hot, that i'll concede
But is she all that i'll ever need?

Just thinking of this femme petite
Makes my heart always skip a beat
Would this feeling last all my life?
Would i want her to be my wife?

At the crossroads of love and life
I'm face to face with this odd choice
Yet after all this joy and strife
I just can't seem to find my voice..

How can i say that this emotion
Is nothing else but love for sure
For i am not certain if my notion
Can live up to the word's grandeur..

When i'm not sure of what i feel
A name for it then how do i find?
With matters of heart how do i deal
With arguments born inside my mind?


I guess the poem says it all and so I have nothing more to say about it except that this is one of my EXTREMELY rare, open ended poems, in the sense that I have not drawn it to any conclusions. Tell me what you think of this.

On another note, my fortunate friends who attended the IRON MAIDEN concert have told me that it was fabulous, and BRUCE DICKINSON said that they'l be back soon, and if it gets really awesome, the'd be having an annual EDDFEST in India every year!!!
\m/ hell yeah!!!

Av

A journey of a thousand miles.... begins with a deep breath!!

This is the inaugural post of my blog, and what better way to start off other than with a poem i wrote last night at 3 A.M... here goes..


Kaleidoscope of Pain

I look through my inward eye again
To explore deep within me;
Peer through the kaleidoscope of pain
And decipher what i see..

With every nudge that life does give
The colours rearrange;
The emotions and thoughts i feel and live
Take forms new and strange..

Sometimes i feel that pain and pleasure
Are illusions, and no more;
That guard the elusive priceless treasure
Locked behind perception's door..

Pain proves itself a beautiful thing
That reveals a new paradigm;
The notes of sadness frequently ring
Across the melody of time..

Pleasure, although feels good to feel
Is poison to the mind;
Shrouding our eyes from what is real
Till perception goes blind..

Its sadness that lends us its wings
To rise above the mundane;
To us what glimpses of truth brings
Is the kaleidoscope of pain..

Yet withing this constant change somewhere
Myself i try to find;
I essay to seek the truth, and dare
To break the bonds that bind..

My inwards quest for truth shall sustain
Till i can open my eyes;
And not need any kaleidoscope to gain
My first glimpses of Paradise..

Av